Why Do We Whisper “Menopause” Like It’s a Curse Word?
I once overheard a man at a dinner party say, “My wife’s going through… you know, that phase.”
He said it like she had a contagious disease.
No one asked what he meant. The women at the table exchanged glances. The men looked uncomfortable. And the conversation moved quickly onto the wine list.
That moment stuck with me—not because it was shocking, but because it was so… normal. It was a reflection of how deeply menopause stigma is embedded in everyday life.
Menopause. The word we don’t say. The reality we don’t talk about. The life chapter millions of women go through, often surrounded by people who love them—and yet still feel completely alone.
So, let’s talk about it. Loudly. Because the stigma around menopause doesn’t just hurt the women going through it. It shapes the way families, partners, and entire communities respond (or don’t).
What Is Menopause—And Why the Silence?
- Menopause marks the end of a woman’s menstrual cycle.
- It’s officially diagnosed after 12 consecutive months without a period.
- The average age of menopause in the United States is around 51, though it varies among individuals (Cleveland Clinic, 2024).
- According to the Cleveland Clinic, symptoms often start years earlier, during a phase called perimenopause, which can last anywhere from 4 to 10 years (Cleveland Clinic, 2025).
Hot flashes. Mood swings. Sleep disruptions. Brain fog. Vaginal dryness. Loss of libido.
These symptoms aren’t just “women’s issues”—they impact households, relationships, work lives, and mental health.
Still, we whisper. We joke. We dismiss.
Why?
Because we’ve been taught to fear aging, to devalue women’s bodies as they change, and to pretend that anything connected to female hormones is irrational, embarrassing, or shameful.
The History of Hushed Tones
Let’s be honest: the stigma didn’t start with our generation.
Historically, menopause has been portrayed as a form of female decline. In Victorian times, women experiencing symptoms were often diagnosed with “hysteria.” And up until the late 20th century, many medical texts described menopausal women as emotionally unstable, even unfit for work or relationships (Lock, 1993).
Is it any wonder we learned to keep quiet?
Today, despite progress in gender equality, menopause remains a stubborn blind spot.
According to a 2025 Astellas global study, 59% of people still view menopause as a taboo subject, and 57% of women said they felt unsupported at work during this transition (Astellas, 2025).
The Real-World Consequences of Menopause Stigma
Stigma isn’t just an awkward dinner party moment—it’s a public health issue.
When women feel they can’t talk openly about what they’re going through, they’re less likely to:
- Seek medical help
- Access accurate information
- Get support at work or home
- Advocate for themselves in relationships
This silence leads to increased isolation and emotional strain. It reinforces misinformation and discourages conversations that could offer support (HealthyWomen, 2025).
Worse yet, silence creates a ripple effect. Partners don’t understand what’s happening. Children notice tension but don’t know why. Coworkers misread behavior. And the woman at the center of it all begins to question her own worth.
“She Changed Overnight”: When Loved Ones Don’t Understand
Sarah, 49, told me:
“My husband thought I was angry all the time. I wasn’t. I was exhausted. I was drenched in sweat every night, my brain felt scrambled, and I hadn’t slept well in weeks. I didn’t know how to explain it—and he didn’t ask.”
Stories like Sarah’s are not rare. And while specific data on partner responses is limited, experts agree that when menopause isn’t openly discussed, loved ones may misinterpret symptoms as personality changes or emotional distance (Northwell Health, 2025).
When confusion meets silence, frustration follows.
How Menopause Stigma Affects Support at Home and Work
Imagine this:
- Every high school student learns about menopause like they do puberty.
- Sitcoms portray it with empathy—not punchlines.
- Partners ask, “How can I support you?” instead of backing away in confusion.
That’s not fantasy. That’s the future we can build—if we stop whispering.
The Role of Partners and Families in Breaking the Silence
You don’t need a medical degree to support someone through menopause. What you do need:
- Curiosity — Ask questions. Learn about the symptoms.
- Patience — Mood swings and sleep disruptions aren’t personal attacks.
- Empathy — This is a profound physical and emotional shift. Validate that.
- Advocacy — Speak up when menopause is mocked or dismissed in your circles. Support awareness campaigns at work or in your community.
When partners show up—not just physically, but emotionally—it changes everything.
What Workplaces, Communities, and Cultures Must Do Next
According to a 2024 Catalyst report, more than half of menopausal women say their symptoms negatively affect their work—and yet only 11% feel comfortable discussing it with their employer (Catalyst, 2024).
We’ve built family leave policies, mental health days, and DEI initiatives. Now, it’s time to add menopause support:
- Flexible work hours during intense symptom phases
- Menopause education as part of HR training
- Open forums and employee resource groups
- Visible support from leadership
Likewise, community centers, churches, and schools—every space where people gather—can help normalize the conversation (UOC, 2025).
Let’s Talk About Menopause at the Dinner Table
Menopause isn’t a dirty word. It’s not a punchline. It’s not a reason to pity someone or tiptoe around them.
Instead, it’s a transition. A normal, biological part of life that deserves the same compassion, curiosity, and conversation we give to other health topics.
And here’s the thing: when families talk, when partners lean in instead of backing off, when workplaces adapt, when communities listen—women thrive (Menopause Global Alliance, n.d.).
Your Next Step: Be the Loud One in the Room
Here’s your challenge:
- Say the word. Out loud. Around the dinner table. With your kids. At work.
- Ask your partner, mother, or friend how they’re feeling—and really listen.
- Speak up when someone makes a joke or dismisses menopause symptoms.
- Start a conversation at your workplace or community group about how to support women during this transition.
Because change doesn’t begin with policy. It begins with voice.
Yours.
Let’s stop whispering. Let’s start owning the conversation.
Disclaimer: This content is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult your healthcare provider before making any decisions about your health, especially related to medication, hormones, or sexual wellbeing. Every woman’s body is different, and what works for one may not work for another.
References
Astellas. (2025). New research reveals impact of menopause stigma. Astellas Pharma Global Newsroom. https://newsroom.astellas.com/2025-03-07-New-Research-Reveals-Impact-of-Menopause-Stigma
Catalyst. (2024). Menopause in the workplace: Addressing stigma and support. https://www.catalyst.org/insights/2024/address-menopause-stigma
Cleveland Clinic. (2024). Menopause. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/21841-menopause
Cleveland Clinic. (2025). Perimenopause: Age, stages, signs, symptoms & treatment. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/21608-perimenopause
HealthyWomen. (2025). How the stigma of menopause and aging affect women’s experiences. https://www.healthywomen.org/your-health/stigma-of-menopause-and-aging-affect-womens-experiences
Lock, M. (1993). Encounters with aging: Mythologies of menopause in Japan and North America. University of California Press.
Menopause Global Alliance. (n.d.). Breaking the silence: Menopause stigma around the world. https://menopauseglobalalliance.org/breaking-the-silence-menopause-stigma-around-the-world/
National Institute on Aging. (2024). What is menopause? U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/menopause/what-menopause
Northwell Health. (2025). Why menopause stigma persists—and how to end it. https://www.northwell.edu/katz-institute-for-womens-health/articles/women-stigmatized-over-menopause
UOC – Universitat Oberta de Catalunya. (2025). Ten actions to reduce discrimination faced by women during menopause. https://www.uoc.edu/en/news/2025/actions-to-reduce-discrimination-faced-by-women-during-the-menopause
