Love and Hormones: How to Keep Your Relationship Strong During Menopause

As women transition through perimenopause and menopause, the changes they experience can significantly impact their relationships. These phases bring a host of emotional, psychological, and physical symptoms that can challenge even the strongest partnerships. But with understanding and practical support, couples can navigate this journey together, fostering deeper connection and mutual support.

Discover how perimenopause and menopause can impact your relationship and get practical tips to navigate these changes together.

Emotional and Psychological Effects

Mood Swings and Emotional Turbulence

Hormonal fluctuations can lead to sudden mood swings, irritability, anxiety, and even depression. These emotional changes can strain communication and create misunderstandings. It’s crucial for partners to recognize that these mood swings are not a reflection of the relationship but rather a symptom of hormonal changes.

What to do:

  • Listen Actively: When your partner is experiencing a mood swing or emotional turbulence, practice active listening. This means giving your full attention, acknowledging her feelings without judgment, and refraining from offering immediate solutions. Sometimes, she just needs to be heard and validated.
  • Scheduled Check-Ins: Set aside regular times to check in with each other emotionally. This could be a weekly coffee date or a nightly chat. These check-ins provide a safe space to express feelings and concerns, helping to prevent misunderstandings.
  • Empathy Practice: Put yourself in her shoes. Understand that her emotional responses are influenced by physiological changes. Respond with empathy and patience, reassuring her of your support.

Anxiety and Depression

The hormonal roller coaster of perimenopause and menopause can trigger or exacerbate anxiety and depression. These conditions can affect self-esteem, motivation, and the overall emotional climate of the relationship.

What to do:

  • Encourage Professional Help: If your partner is struggling with severe anxiety or depression, gently encourage her to seek professional help. Therapy or counseling can provide valuable tools for managing these conditions.
  • Participate in Therapy: Consider attending therapy sessions together. Couples therapy can help you both learn effective communication strategies and deepen your understanding of each other’s experiences.
  • Mindfulness and Relaxation: Engage in mindfulness or relaxation exercises together. Practices like meditation, yoga, or even deep-breathing exercises can help reduce anxiety and create a sense of calm and connection.

Physical Symptoms

Sleep Disturbances

Hot flashes and night sweats can wreak havoc on sleep quality, leading to fatigue and irritability during the day. Poor sleep can strain interactions and diminish the overall quality of life.

What to do:

  • Sleep Environment: Create a sleep-friendly environment. Ensure the bedroom is cool, dark, and quiet. Consider investing in moisture-wicking bedding and a fan to help manage night sweats.
  • Bedtime Routine: Establish a calming bedtime routine together. Activities like reading, gentle stretching, or listening to soothing music can signal the body that it’s time to wind down.
  • Sleep Schedule: Try to maintain a consistent sleep schedule, going to bed and waking up at the same time each day. This regularity can improve sleep quality over time.

Vaginal Dryness

Decreased estrogen levels can cause vaginal dryness, making intercourse uncomfortable or painful. This can lead to a decrease in sexual activity and feelings of frustration or rejection for both partners.

What to do:

  • Open Communication: Have an open and honest conversation about this issue. Discuss how it affects both of you and explore solutions together.
  • Lubricants and Moisturizers: Experiment with over-the-counter lubricants and vaginal moisturizers. These can make intercourse more comfortable and enjoyable.
  • Gentle and Patient: Be gentle and patient during intimacy. Take your time with foreplay and ensure both partners feel comfortable and relaxed.

Relational Dynamics

Communication Breakdown

Emotional and physical changes can lead to a breakdown in communication. Partners might not fully understand what the other is going through, leading to frustration and arguments.

What to do:

  • Educational Resources: Educate yourself about perimenopause and menopause. Read books, articles, and attend workshops together. Understanding the biological and psychological aspects can foster empathy and improve communication.
  • Non-Verbal Cues: Pay attention to non-verbal cues. Sometimes, body language and tone of voice can communicate more than words. Being attuned to these signals can help you respond more sensitively.
  • Conflict Resolution Skills: Develop conflict resolution skills. Learn how to navigate disagreements constructively without letting emotions escalate. Techniques like active listening, using “I” statements, and taking breaks during heated discussions can be helpful.

Decreased Intimacy

The combination of physical and emotional changes can lead to a decrease in both sexual and non-sexual intimacy. This can create a sense of distance in the relationship.

What to do:

  • Non-Sexual Touch: Foster non-sexual physical intimacy. Simple gestures like holding hands, hugging, or cuddling can maintain a sense of closeness and affection.
  • Explore New Ways: Be open to exploring new ways to connect intimately. This could include trying new activities together, taking a dance class, or even enjoying a quiet walk in the park.
  • Quality Time: Prioritize quality time together. Set aside regular time for activities you both enjoy. This helps maintain the emotional bond and creates positive shared experiences.

Increased Need for Support

The woman going through perimenopause or menopause may need more emotional and practical support, which can be challenging for a partner if they feel unprepared or overwhelmed.

What to do:

  • Shared Responsibilities: Share household and daily responsibilities. Lightening her load can reduce stress and show your support in tangible ways.
  • Support Groups: Encourage her to join support groups or forums where she can share experiences and gain support from others going through the same phase. This can also help you understand her experience better.
  • Personal Care: Encourage self-care. Support her in finding time for activities that rejuvenate her, such as hobbies, exercise, or relaxation practices. Sometimes, showing support means encouraging her to take time for herself.


Perimenopause and menopause are significant transitions that can impact every aspect of a woman’s life, including her relationships. However, with understanding, empathy, and practical strategies, couples can navigate this phase together, emerging stronger and more connected.

Remember, this is a journey of mutual support. As a partner, your willingness to understand, adapt, and provide support can make a tremendous difference. Embrace this phase with patience, openness, and a commitment to maintaining a loving and supportive relationship.

By taking these specific and practical steps, you can help your partner feel understood and supported, ultimately enhancing your relationship and ensuring that you both navigate this challenging phase with grace and resilience.

Menopause Madness? Here’s How to Be the Hero Your Partner Needs!

Menopause is a significant life transition, and it’s about more than just the end of menstrual cycles. It’s a period marked by profound hormonal changes that can lead to mood swings, hot flashes, and a host of other symptoms. But here’s the thing: partner support during menopause can make a world of difference. If you’re looking to be the hero your partner needs during these turbulent times, you’re in the right place.

Understanding Menopause and Mood Swings

Menopause isn’t just a biological process—it’s an emotional journey. The hormonal rollercoaster can send emotions into overdrive, leading to mood swings that confuse both the person experiencing them and their partner. Understanding that these mood swings are not personal but rather a common part of the menopausal transition is the first step in offering partner support during menopause.

Top 5 Challenges Partners Face During Menopause

  1. Emotional Distance: During menopause, hormonal changes can make a person feel emotionally distant or disconnected. Partners may feel like they’re losing touch with each other as the person going through menopause may become more introspective or withdrawn. It’s important to remember that this emotional distance is often temporary and is a result of the physical and emotional changes occurring during this time.
  2. Lack of Information: Many partners may not fully understand what menopause entails, leading to misunderstandings and miscommunication. This lack of information can make it difficult to provide the right support and empathy. Educating both partners about menopause can help bridge this knowledge gap and foster a more supportive environment.
  3. Communication Breakdown: As menopause can bring about mood swings and emotional changes, communication between partners can become strained. It’s crucial to maintain open lines of communication and to make an effort to understand each other’s perspectives, even when it feels challenging.
  4. Physical Changes: Menopause can lead to various physical changes, such as hot flashes, night sweats, and changes in libido. These changes can affect intimacy and sexual relationships. It’s important for partners to approach these changes with sensitivity and understanding, and to find new ways to maintain intimacy and closeness.
  5. Stress and Anxiety: Menopause can be a stressful time, not just for the person experiencing it, but also for their partner. Stress levels can increase due to the changes and uncertainties associated with menopause. Managing stress together, through activities like exercise, relaxation techniques, or counseling, can help strengthen the relationship during this challenging time.

Navigating these challenges requires patience, empathy, and a willingness to learn and adapt. But the rewards? A deeper, more understanding relationship.

How to Be the Hero Your Partner Needs

Being the hero isn’t about grand gestures; it’s about the everyday actions that show you care and understand. Partner support during menopause means being there, both emotionally and physically. Here’s how:

  1. Educate Yourself: Take the initiative to learn about menopause. Read books, articles, and consult reputable sources to understand the physical and emotional changes your partner is going through. This knowledge will enable you to provide better support and empathy.
  2. Open Communication: Encourage your partner to express their feelings and needs. Ask open-ended questions to facilitate dialogue, and listen actively without judgment. Open communication can help you both navigate the challenges of menopause together.
  3. Patience and Understanding: Be patient with your partner as they navigate the ups and downs of menopause. Understand that mood swings and other symptoms are beyond their control. Your patience and understanding can provide much-needed emotional support.
  4. Supportive Actions: Show your support through small, thoughtful actions. This could be anything from taking on extra chores to provide relief, to simply being there to offer a comforting hug. These gestures can make a big difference in your partner’s day-to-day experience of menopause.
  5. Seeking Help Together: If your partner is struggling with menopause symptoms, encourage them to seek help from a healthcare provider. Offer to accompany them to appointments or to help research treatment options. Seeking help together can be a powerful way to show your support and commitment to your partner’s well-being.


Navigating menopause is a journey for both partners. Remember, partner support during menopause is about being present, patient, and proactive. By understanding the challenges and addressing them together, you can emerge stronger and more connected than ever. Menopause might be madness, but with the right approach, you can be the hero your partner needs.

And as you move forward, don’t forget to keep learning and growing together. Because at the end of the day, it’s not just about navigating menopause—it’s about supporting each other through every season of life.

Is Menopause Ruining Your Relationship? It Shouldn’t Be!

Menopause is like going through a second puberty, but this time, it’s not just about the awkward growth spurts and acne. It’s a whole mix of physical and emotional changes that can sometimes throw a wrench into even the strongest of relationships. Hot flashes, mood swings, and all the other fun stuff that comes with menopause can make things a bit tricky to navigate.

For partners, it’s super important to understand what’s going on. This isn’t just a phase; it’s a significant life transition that requires a whole lot of empathy, patience, and open communication. By getting a grip on the challenges, both partners can work together to make this journey smoother and even strengthen their bond in the process.

So, what kind of issues might pop up? Well, for starters, there’s the emotional rollercoaster that can make moods swing faster than a pendulum. Then there are the physical changes, like hot flashes and sleep disturbances, that can test anyone’s patience. And let’s not forget the impact on intimacy – things can get a bit complicated in the bedroom.

Navigating these changes can be tough, but it’s all about teamwork. It’s about listening, being supportive, and sometimes just being there. By understanding and addressing these issues head-on, couples can not only weather the storm but also come out stronger on the other side.

Let’s explore the specific issues that may arise and how they impact the dynamics of a relationship.

Emotional Turbulence

Consider the story of Maria and Tom*, a couple who struggled to maintain their connection when Maria entered menopause. Maria’s mood swings and decreased interest in sexual intimacy left Tom feeling rejected and helpless, while Maria felt guilty but unable to express her needs and frustrations. It was only through seeking professional help and learning to communicate openly about their feelings and challenges that they began to understand and support each other better, ultimately strengthening their relationship.

(*Names and details have been changed to protect privacy.)

Riding the Wave

Martha and Tom had weathered many storms in their thirty years of marriage, but none quite like the emotional turbulence of Martha’s menopause. The once calm and collected Martha now found herself on an emotional rollercoaster, with mood swings that left Tom bewildered and often, on the receiving end of her frustration.

It started subtly; Martha would snap at Tom over trivial matters or dissolve into tears without warning. Initially, Tom tried to brush it off, attributing it to stress or a bad day. But as these episodes became more frequent, he realized this was beyond their usual squabbles.
One evening, as they sat down for dinner, Martha suddenly burst into tears, her fork clattering against the plate. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” she sobbed, her voice laced with confusion and despair.

Tom, feeling helpless, reached across the table, taking her hand in his. “We’ll get through this together,” he said, though he wasn’t quite sure how.

The next day, Tom took it upon himself to learn more about menopause. He read articles and forums, trying to understand the emotional whirlwind Martha was caught in. He learned about the hormonal changes and their impact on mood and emotions. It was a revelation.

Armed with this new understanding, Tom approached Martha differently. He became more patient, listening without trying to ‘fix’ things immediately. When she was irritable, he gave her space, knowing it was the hormones talking, not her heart. And on days she felt overwhelmed, he was there, offering a hug or a comforting word.

Slowly, Martha started to feel less alone in her journey. She appreciated Tom’s efforts to understand and support her, even when she couldn’t find the words to express herself. It wasn’t perfect; there were still moments of tension and tears, but they were now interspersed with understanding and shared laughter.

One evening, as they sat watching the sunset, Martha turned to Tom, her eyes softening. “Thank you for riding this wave with me,” she said, her voice filled with gratitude.
Tom smiled, squeezing her hand gently. “I promised ‘in sickness and in health,’ didn’t I? Besides, I hear the view is beautiful once you reach the shore.”

And in that moment, they knew that their bond, tested by the storm of menopause, had emerged stronger and more resilient. The journey wasn’t over, but they were facing it together, one wave at a time.

Martha & Tom

Married for 30 years

From the personal experience of Martha and Tom, we can see that menopause can turn a relationship upside down if not handled correctly.

Hormonal changes are like an invisible force, pushing and pulling emotions in all directions. One minute, everything’s fine, and the next, it’s like a storm cloud has rolled in. Mood swings, irritability, and unexpected bouts of sadness or anxiety can leave both partners feeling lost and confused.

These emotional ups and downs can be tough on a relationship. They can lead to misunderstandings, as one partner might not realize why the other is suddenly upset or irritable. Arguments can flare up over seemingly small things, and there can be a growing sense of distance as both partners struggle to find their footing in this new reality.

For the woman going through menopause, it can be a lonely time. She might feel like no one understands what she’s going through, or that her partner isn’t giving her the support she needs. On the other side, her partner might feel like they’re walking on eggshells, unsure of how to help or what to say. It’s a challenging time, but with open communication and empathy, couples can navigate these emotional waters and emerge stronger on the other side.

Changes in Libido and Sexual Intimacy

Menopause can bring about significant changes in sexual desire and physical comfort during intercourse, primarily due to decreased estrogen levels leading to vaginal dryness and discomfort. These changes can affect a couple’s sexual intimacy, leading to frustration and a sense of loss for both partners. The decline in libido can be particularly challenging, as it may affect the woman’s self-esteem and her partner’s sense of desirability, potentially leading to conflicts and a deeper emotional divide.

Communication Breakdown

The physical and emotional changes during menopause can also lead to a breakdown in communication between partners. Women may feel embarrassed or uncomfortable discussing their symptoms, while partners may be unsure how to broach the subject without causing offense or discomfort. This lack of open dialogue can create a barrier, preventing couples from addressing the challenges they face together and finding ways to navigate them.

The Impact on Daily Life and Roles

Menopause can also affect daily routines and the roles each partner plays within the relationship. For example, sleep disturbances common during menopause can lead to fatigue and irritability, impacting the couple’s social life, parenting, or household responsibilities. The stress of coping with these changes can exacerbate the strain on the relationship, leading to resentment and a feeling of imbalance.

Moving Forward Together

The impact of menopause on a relationship cannot be underestimated, but with awareness, understanding, and open communication, couples can navigate this transition more effectively. Recognizing that menopause is a natural part of aging and not something to be “fixed” is crucial. Instead, the focus should be on supporting each other, adapting to changes, and finding new ways to connect and maintain intimacy.

By addressing the challenges head-on and viewing them as opportunities for growth, couples can emerge from this period stronger and more connected than before. The key lies in patience, empathy, and a willingness to adapt and support each other through the changes.

Communication is Key

In the face of menopause-related challenges, effective communication becomes the linchpin for maintaining and strengthening a relationship. Open, honest dialogue can bridge gaps in understanding, foster empathy, and create a supportive environment for both partners. Here are strategies to enhance communication during this pivotal time.

Cultivate an Open Dialogue

Initiate conversations about menopause in a respectful and non-judgmental manner. Encourage sharing feelings, symptoms, and concerns without fear of dismissal or ridicule. An open dialogue ensures that both partners feel heard and valued, facilitating a deeper understanding of each other’s experiences and needs.

  • Tip for starting the conversation: “I’ve noticed some changes that seem to be affecting you (and us) lately. I want to understand what you’re going through and how I can support you better. Can we talk about it?”

Practice Active Listening

Active listening involves fully concentrating on what is being said rather than passively hearing the message. It means listening with all senses and giving full attention to your partner, acknowledging their feelings and experiences without immediately offering solutions or advice.

  • Active listening response example: “It sounds like you’re feeling really overwhelmed by these changes. That must be incredibly hard. How can I help you feel more supported?”

Educate Yourselves Together

Learning about menopause together can demystify the process and make it less intimidating. It can also provide both partners with a common understanding of what to expect and how to manage symptoms effectively. Utilize reputable sources such as healthcare providers, menopause organizations, and educational materials to gain insights.

  • Joint activity suggestion: “Let’s find some resources on menopause together. Understanding more about what you’re going through might help us both feel more prepared for the changes.”

Establish a Supportive Environment

Creating a supportive environment means making it clear that menopause is not a taboo subject and that emotions and physical changes can be discussed openly. This involves both verbal and non-verbal communication, showing empathy, understanding, and patience through words, actions, and body language.

  • Supportive gesture example: Following a conversation about menopause symptoms, offer a comforting hug or simply hold your partner’s hand, showing physical support without needing to find the perfect words.

Effective communication during menopause can significantly ease the strain on a relationship. It enables both partners to navigate the challenges together, offering support, understanding, and love when it’s needed the most. By adopting these communication strategies, couples can strengthen their bond and emerge from this transition more connected.

8 Essential Insights About Menopause for the Men in Your Life

Viola Davis, the Oscar-nominated actress renowned for her role as Nurse Lynnette Peeler in the TV series “City of Angels,” engaged in a frank and lively conversation with Jimmy Kimmel on “Jimmy Kimmel Live.” The discussion, which prominently featured the topic of menopause, struck a balance between being enlightening and entertaining, offering the audience a blend of insightful observations and lighthearted humor.

In the engaging dialogue between Viola and Jimmy, a notable moment unfolded when it became apparent that Jimmy, like many men, possessed limited knowledge about menopause. Viola, with her signature blend of honesty and wit, navigated through the complexities of explaining menopause, which she vividly described as “hell” and a “dark hole.” Her anecdotes, which included mood swings and forgetfulness, not only illuminated the physiological and psychological changes that occur during this phase but also brought forth laughter through her relatable humor. One such humorous incident involved Viola misplacing a bowl in the refrigerator, leading her husband to jestingly question her mental coherence. Viola’s openness in discussing struggles with body image and weight gain during menopause, likening the emotional upheaval to a cartoon where scales inevitably induce tears, encapsulates an emotional and physical journey with a unique blend of sincerity and humor.

Key takeaway from the video:

  • Jimmy Kimmel admits his lack of knowledge about the female body, highlighting the need for more education and awareness.
  • Viola Davis describes menopause as a “DARK HOLE” and admits to fluctuating between loving her husband or wanting to kill him.
  • Menopause can cause forgetfulness and confusion, as Viola Davis shared a personal anecdote about misplacing a bowl in the refrigerator.
  • Viola Davis confidently asserts that she is not going crazy during menopause, emphasizing her determination to not let it bring her down.

This discussion, while entertaining, also subtly highlights the importance of fostering open dialogues about topics like menopause, thereby breaking down barriers and destigmatizing natural biological processes. It underscores a prevalent reality where men, like Jimmy and Viola’s husband, may lack a fundamental understanding of menopause, spotlighting a need for broader conversations and education about such pivotal experiences in women’s lives.

A Compassionate Guide for Men: Understanding and Supporting Women Through Menopause

Gentlemen, let’s delve into a topic that’s often reserved for women’s circles: Menopause. It’s a natural phase in a woman’s life that brings about significant changes, not just for her, but also potentially impacting the relationship dynamics. Understanding this transition is crucial for providing the support and empathy that the women in your life might need during this time.

1. Embracing the Heat Together

Imagine an unexpected wave of heat engulfing you without warning – this is a hot flash. It’s one of the most common symptoms of menopause, and it’s as uncomfortable as it sounds. Your understanding and patience during these moments, perhaps by ensuring a comfortable environment and being patient if they cause irritability or discomfort, can be a pillar of support for her.

2. Navigating Emotional Waves

Menopause can be an emotional rollercoaster, with mood swings and forgetfulness being quite common. Your partner might experience moments of sadness or frustration that seem to come out of nowhere. Offering a listening ear, a shoulder to lean on, and reassurance during these times can be a beacon of comfort.

3. Keeping the Flame Alive in Intimacy

Physical changes during menopause, like decreased libido and vaginal dryness, can alter the dynamics of intimacy. It’s essential to approach these changes with sensitivity and understanding. Explore alternative ways to maintain physical closeness and consider trying out recommended products to alleviate physical discomfort during intercourse.

4. Acknowledging External Changes

Menopause might bring about visible changes, such as hair thinning or skin alterations. Compliment her genuinely and reassure her of your unwavering attraction and love, which can be a boost to her self-esteem during times when she might feel self-conscious about these changes.

5. Being a Pillar in Health

With menopause, women often face an increased risk of certain health conditions, such as heart disease and osteoporosis. Be proactive together in adopting a healthier lifestyle, perhaps by engaging in regular exercise and adopting a balanced diet, to mitigate these risks as a team.

6. Adopting Healthy Habits Together

A healthy lifestyle can ease the menopause journey. Engage in healthy activities together, such as cooking nutritious meals, exercising, or practicing mindfulness, which can not only be beneficial for her but also strengthen your bond.

7. Exploring Solutions as a Team

From herbal remedies to prescription medications, there are various means to manage menopausal symptoms. Be involved in exploring these options, and offer to accompany her to healthcare appointments, showcasing your support and involvement in this journey.

8. Strengthening Your Bond Through the Transition

Menopause is a chapter in life, not the entire story. It’s a period where your support, understanding, and patience can fortify the relationship and even bring you closer. Engage in open conversations about her experiences, validate her feelings, and reassure her that you’re navigating these waters together.

In essence, your support, empathy, and understanding during the menopause transition are invaluable. By being involved, informed, and considerate, you’re not only easing her journey but also contributing to strengthening the bond and mutual respect in your relationship.