August 2025 -

Take Control: Become Your Own Health Advocate in Perimenopause!

Sarah Goody on August 26, 2025

Let me be clear: navigating perimenopause isn’t just about managing hot flashes and mood swings. It’s about reclaiming your power. For too long, women have been told to accept feeling foggy, tired, anxious, or dismissed when they bring these concerns to their doctor. I’m here to tell you: that ends now.

Being your own health advocate is no longer optional—it’s essential. If you’re in your 30s, 40s, or early 50s and something feels off, don’t wait for validation. This is your moment to speak up, ask questions, and demand the care you deserve. Here’s how to do it.

Why Advocacy Matters More Than Ever in Perimenopause

Perimenopause affects over 2 million women in the U.S. alone every year—yet it’s still wildly underdiagnosed and misunderstood. According to The Menopause Society, most healthcare providers receive minimal training on menopause and perimenopause in medical school. That lack of education has real consequences: your symptoms might be dismissed, misdiagnosed, or worse, ignored.

Advocacy isn’t about confrontation. It’s about collaboration. When you take an active role in your care, studies show you’re more likely to receive appropriate treatment and experience better health outcomes.

Prepare Like a Pro for Your Appointments

Going to your doctor shouldn’t feel like preparing for battle, but let’s be honest—sometimes it does. Here’s how to get the most from your visit:

Track your symptoms: Keep a journal or app documenting changes in sleep, mood, cycle, libido, weight, and energy. Bring that data.
Prioritize your top concerns: Choose your top 3 symptoms or questions to focus the conversation.
State your goals: Whether you want to explore natural solutions, hormone therapy, or lifestyle changes, be upfront.
Know your history: Come prepared with your family medical history and past hormone-related experiences.

And remember: it’s okay to say, “I’d like to explore other options. Can you walk me through them?”

Ask the Right Questions

Don’t leave your appointment feeling more confused than when you arrived. Ask clear, direct questions that demand real answers. Here’s how—and why it matters:

A great example comes from Halle Berry. At age 54, after experiencing painful intercourse, her doctor misdiagnosed her with herpes—calling it “the worst case he’d ever seen.” Both she and her partner tested negative. Only later did she realize vaginal dryness—a common perimenopausal symptom—was the real cause. That experience sparked her powerful advocacy for menopause awareness. (EW)

And it doesn’t stop there. Even Oprah Winfrey shared that her perimenopausal symptoms, including heart palpitations and intense brain fog, left her terrified she had a serious cardiac condition or early dementia. Her doctor didn’t initially connect the dots. It wasn’t until a chance conversation with a menopause specialist that she finally got the right diagnosis and support. (Allure)

That’s exactly why you need to come prepared. These are the questions I recommend:

Could my symptoms be related to perimenopause?
What tests do you recommend to evaluate my hormone health?
Are there effective non-hormonal treatments I should explore?
What are the pros and cons of hormone therapy given my personal history?
How often should we monitor hormone levels during this transition?
What lifestyle changes or integrative options might support me?
Can you refer me to a certified menopause or perimenopause specialist if needed?

If your provider seems rushed, dismissive, or unsure, that’s your cue to explore a second opinion.

Don’t Ignore Red Flags

You are not “too young.”
You are not “just stressed.”
You are not “imagining it.”

Dismissive comments like these are classic signs of medical gaslighting. If your provider minimizes your concerns or tells you to “wait it out,” it’s time to pivot.

According to the 2024 Kaiser Family Foundation (KFF) Women’s Health Survey, 29% of women reported that their concerns were dismissed, and 38% experienced at least one negative interaction with a provider, including being disbelieved or blamed. These experiences are linked with delayed care and worse health outcomes. Your doctor should be your partner—not your gatekeeper.

Normalize Getting a Second Opinion

Here’s a secret many women don’t hear enough: getting a second opinion is smart, not disrespectful. It means you’re invested in your health. Especially with something as nuanced as perimenopause, you deserve comprehensive care.

Use directories like The Menopause Society (formerly NAMS) to find certified menopause practitioners. Ask friends or local women’s health groups for referrals. And don’t be afraid to vet your provider’s knowledge.

You Deserve More Than a 10-Minute Visit

If your provider isn’t taking the time to listen, educate, and collaborate with you, that’s not real care. You deserve:

Longer appointment windows
Follow-up care and lab review
Shared decision-making
Respect for your preferences, whether natural or pharmaceutical

When a provider takes the time to explore why you’re experiencing symptoms rather than just writing a prescription, everything changes. That’s root-cause medicine. That’s what you deserve.

Bonus: Download Your Free Healthcare Advocacy Worksheet

Ready to lead your next doctor visit with clarity and confidence? Download my Healthcare Advocacy Worksheet. It helps you:

Log your most important symptoms
Clarify your health goals
List smart questions for your provider
Decide when to seek a second opinion

Download the Worksheet Now

Menopause Network | Healthcare Advocacy Worksheet Download

This is your body, your experience, and your future.

Perimenopause doesn’t get to sideline your power. You do not have to feel lost, dismissed, or out of control. You get to own this transition—and transform it into a time of renewed strength, clarity, and vitality.

You’re not just going through perimenopause. You’re stepping into your authority.

Please remember: This information is for educational purposes only and is not intended to replace professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult with your healthcare provider before making any changes to your health routine, especially if you have existing health conditions or are taking medications. What works for one person may not work for another, and your individual health needs are unique to you.

References

Wegrzynowicz, A. K., Walls, A. C., Godfrey, M., & Beckley, A. (2025). Insights into Perimenopause: A Survey of Perceptions, Opinions on Treatment, and Potential Approaches. Women (Basel, Switzerland), 5(1), 4. https://doi.org/10.3390/women5010004

Berry, H. (2024, May 1). Halle Berry says doctor misdiagnosed her perimenopause symptoms as herpes. Entertainment Weekly. https://ew.com/halle-berry-doctor-misdiagnosed-perimenopause-herpes-8620647

Winfrey, O. (2024, March 15). Oprah shares her misdiagnosis journey through perimenopause. Allure. https://www.allure.com/story/oprah-winfrey-menopause-symptoms

The Menopause Society. (n.d.). Choosing a healthcare practitioner. https://menopause.org/patient-education/choosing-a-healthcare-practitioner

Kaiser Family Foundation. (2024). A closer look at negative interactions experienced by women in health settings: Findings from the 2024 women’s health survey. KFF. https://www.kff.org/womens-health-policy/a-closer-look-at-negative-interactions-experienced-by-women-in-health-settings-findings-from-the-2024-womens-health-survey/

Redefining YOU: What Happens When Menopause and Motherhood Both Let Go

Amanda Paige on August 21, 2025

Hey friend — let’s talk truthfully, tenderly, and with unflinching honesty about what’s happening when Empty Nest Syndrome meets perimenopause.

That time when your body’s whispering that it’s changing, and your home feels different, too—the children are growing up and moving forward, leaving a quiet that echoes deeper than before.

I’ll walk with you through every twist: those identity tremors, the rush of grief, the shadows of loss, and the surprising flashes of freedom and reinvention. By the time we’re done, you’ll have a roadmap—not an airy promise, but real, tangible steps—the Empty Nest Adjustment Guide—to help you lean into this double transition with your heart full of clarity, purpose, and hope.

Let’s dive in.

WHY THIS MOMENT FEELS SO…GIANT

Your Body Is Speaking a New Language

There’s a hormonal uproar happening. Estrogen, progesterone, all the familiar players are changing their tune—sometimes whispering, sometimes roaring—that something big is shifting inside. This isn’t just about hot flashes or changed cycles (though those are real and impactful) — it’s about your body telling you, “You’re crossing into new territory.”

Your Home Feels a Little…echo-y

Your kids are moving out (or getting ready to), and suddenly the home you’ve known morphs. That space—once humming with routines, laughter, late-night secrets—feels different. You’re holding the weight of absence, and maybe wondering, “Who am I if not mom to them?”

Two Transitions, One Emotional Wave

When perimenopause and empty nesting happen around the same time, every emotion—sadness, relief, restlessness—gets amplified. It’s like riding two waves at once: one reshapes your body, the other, your purpose.

1. IDENTITY SHIFTS: RECLAIM WHO YOU ARE, WHO YOU’RE BECOMING

A. Acknowledge the Loss (and the Beauty)

You’re not just letting go of roles. You’re saying goodbye (part of the time) to:

The full-time caregiver, the breakfast chef, the school-run coordinator…
The long evenings of homework help and school projects
The constant question of “What will your kid do next?”

Grieving this is okay. Let it be messy. Tearful. Honest.

But there’s also this: the space that opens up is invitation. This is where “You” — the version of yourself beyond mom-mode — gets to step forward.

B. Remember Who You Were Before

You’re more than a role—you are multitudes.

Maybe you loved painting, writing, hiking, dancing, lost for a while among schedules.
Maybe there was art, music, connection, or causes you once championed you want to revisit.

Here’s your permission slip to reach back for that girl. Say her name. Invite her back.

C. Explore, Experiment, Expand

Your identity reframe doesn’t need to happen all at once. Try one new seed:

Volunteer with a cause that matters to you (e.g. women’s health, climate, local theater)
Start a blog or memoir project—tell the stories you’ve lived
Learn a skill you’ve always admired—guitar, photography, writing, crafting your own path

Repeat: this isn’t “finding yourself” (as if you’ve been lost). It’s rediscovering the self beneath the titles.

2. GRIEF PROCESSING: LET THE SADNESS AND STRENGTH COEXIST

A. The Emotional Truths

There’s grief here—real, rich, and valid. And there’s also—

Relief (no running out to soccer practice)
Excitement for new relationships and rhythms
Guilt: “Am I supposed to feel thrilled right now?”

Let those emotions all breathe. There’s no map that says you have to only grieve or only celebrate.

B. Rituals That Comfort

Sometimes, we disarm grief with tiny rituals:

Memory Jar: Write one memory with your child, drop it in a jar. Open it on days you’re feeling lost.
Letter to Your Younger Self: Speak from where you are now—what would you tell her about resilience, love, imperfection?
Keepsake Box: A special container for mementos of this mom-child chapter (notes, drawings, photographs, special trinkets).

Grief isn’t meant to be banished—it’s meant to be felt, honored, then transformed.

C. Let Others In

Sometimes, grief lands in silent isolation. Hunt for connections:

Online forums or communities for peri- and menopausal women
Support groups for parents moving through the empty-nest transition
Close friends who let you cry… and laugh again… without judgment

Even reading a blog like this lets you know: you’re not alone. And you never have to be.

3. NEW OPPORTUNITIES: WHAT YOU’VE WON

A. Space Is a Gift

That quiet house? It’s your sanctuary now:

Morning silence that lets you practice mindfulness, yoga, journaling
Evenings filled with soft music, new recipes, cuddles with your partner, or no plan at all
A solo weekend getaway (or weekday!) — just because

What does freedom taste like today? Dare to define it.

B. Reinventing Rituals with Intention

Kids may have left, but tradition can be reborn:

Make yourself a Sunday ritual—a long personal brunch, a walk with a friend, a journal session with candles
Start “Me-time Monday”—choose something just for you: a podcast, a bath, a dance spontaneous
Find or create a women’s circle—a weekly/monthly gathering where you share, learn, and lean

These rituals say: “I matter, my joy matters.”

C. Create Legacy On Your Terms

You’re not in transition; you’re entering a new phase of authoring your life:

Write—an essay, a novel, a motherhood memoir
Advocate—for women’s health, for perimenopause, for better resources for transitioning mothers
Learn—start that book club, take online courses, enroll in evening classes

Your experience equips you to lead, teach, inspire.

4. THE SCIENCE BEHIND THE EMOTIONAL SEA

Let’s anchor all this heart talk in research, gently:

Mindfulness and journaling can help reduce perimenopausal mood swings and anxiety, reframing identity shifts as opportunities for growth.
Researchers have found that women who consciously foster new social or creative roles after becoming empty nesters report increased satisfaction, lower depression, and better self-esteem.
“Transition rituals” — even small ones — can help your brain feel anchored during emotional upheaval.

Translation? This messiness you’re wading through? It’s fertile ground for reinvention, not derailment.

5. THE EMPTY‑NEST ADJUSTMENT GUIDE

This is your free, heartfelt companion for that brave next step:

A. Acknowledge the Change

Journal about who you were before perimenopause + empty nest
Name three things you’re letting go of—and three things you’re looking forward to

B. Build Your Emotional Toolkit

Start a grief ritual (memory jar, letter, box of memories)
Join one online or local community focused on women in transition
Schedule “emotions check-ins”—bite-size, but enough to feel

C. Reclaim & Reinvent

Pick one lost or curious part of your identity and give it ten minutes today.
Rebuild a personal ritual: morning coffee with a book, sunset walks, weekly dance session… anything that’s just for you.
Start a project that excites you: writing, volunteering, learning—set just one small goal today

D. Anchor in Support

Identify one friend, counselor, or community to reach out to when grief hits
Rotate between three self-care modes: mental (reading, therapy, journaling), physical (movement, sleep hygiene), relational (girls’ night, connection)

E. Celebrate the Forward

Plan a “launch” moment—for you: a weekend trip, mini-spa day, a new course—something that marks this phase as sacred
Reflect weekly: What did I release this week? What did I create? Who did I surprise with my strength?

BRINGING IT HOME

This stage — when menopause and empty nesting align — isn’t a crisis. It’s a crucible. How beautiful that your life is reshaping, and you get to decide, fiercely and tenderly, what comes next.

You may feel untethered. But you’re also poised—on the cusp of reinvention, rediscovery, remarkable expansion. Your body is speaking. Your home is whispering. Are you listening?

Lean into your grief—not to stay there, but to transform through it.

Invite in parts of yourself you might’ve forgotten. Cultivate morning rituals, new roles, community, creative light.

Let your wings unfold with tenderness, with power—and with the clarity that you are still the author of every chapter yet unwritten.

How to Start Today

Light a candle (literally or figuratively) to this new phase. Let it remind you—you matter.
Grab a journal and ask: “Who am I becoming?”
Reach out—tell a trusted friend, “I need company in this chapter.”
And bookmark this: Your Empty‑Nest Adjustment Guide—return to it when the waves rise.

You are not lost. You are just beginning something deeply alive, urging your name forward.

Banner of love and wisdom, always,
Amanda

Mom Guilt & Perimenopause: When Symptoms Affect Parenting

Amanda Paige on August 13, 2025

It was 2 AM, and you found yourself staring into the darkness—not at a sleeping child, but at your own exhaustion. You’re not just navigating perimenopause; you’re tiptoeing through a maze of brain fog, mood swings, and guilt.

You’re whispering questions only the dark hears: Why am I snapping over spilled milk? Why can’t I remember what my kid had for lunch? Am I failing them—just because my body is changing?

If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. And more importantly, you’re not failing.

When Mom Guilt Meets Perimenopause

“Mom guilt” is a silent plague—especially when your body’s hormonal shifts hijack your mood and energy. Add perimenopause symptoms into the mix, and it’s a recipe for emotional overload.

Brain fog & memory blanks: You welcome toddler giggles… until you can’t recall your to-do list.
Irritability & emotional fatigue: You love your child fiercely, but when your patience snaps, guilt follows.
Unrealistic self-expectations: “Should be able to do it all.” Only now, your brain—and body—is in flux.

But here’s the truth: perimenopause isn’t the villain, and you aren’t failing. Your hormones are, yes—shifting—yet this doesn’t make you a lesser mom. Heck, it makes you human.

Hormones in Flux

During perimenopause, levels of estrogen fluctuate widely. That affects brain function, sleep, mood regulation, and even energy levels.

Estrogen helps produce serotonin—so when it dips, your mood might too.
Disrupted sleep during the night? Those hot flashes and night sweats hurt more than bedtime.
Stress compounds it all; the more overwhelmed you feel, the harder everything else becomes.

I know—it sounds like a confession session. But the more we accept the science, the better we can talk about it, manage it, and most importantly—show ourselves grace.

Self‑Compassion Meets Realistic Expectation

You don’t have to plant a perfect garden at every stage. Some seasons—like now—are about tending to the soil.

What self‑compassion actually looks like:

Talk to yourself like you would a friend.
When you’re snappy, imagine hearing the words not from yourself, but from your kid or friend. Would they deserve that harsh tone?
Set tiny expectations.
Sweeping the floor? Great. Saying something kind to yourself? Better.
Celebrate the small wins.
You played that cartoon without falling asleep. You remembered the juice box. You listened when they needed you—even when your brain fogged out.

Asking For Help: It’s Not “Failing”, It’s Human

There’s a myth that if you ask for help, you’re not strong enough. Let me tell you: asking for help is the bravest thing you can do.

Be clear in what you need. “I need 30 minutes to clear my head. Please sit with her so I can breathe.”
Outsource tasks without shame. Meal kits, grocery pickup, laundry service—these aren’t luxuries. They’re lifelines.
Lean on your village. Community isn’t just family. It’s friends, support groups, moms who get it, professionals.

Aha-Moment

Here’s the thing: embracing perimenopause as part of your journey doesn’t weaken your mothering. It expands it—if you let yourself slow down enough to notice the ways you’re changing, and still show up.

Self‑Compassion Exercises for Moms

Here are three powerful exercises designed just for you:

1. The One-Minute Mirror Check‑In

How: Stand in front of the mirror. Look yourself in the eye. Say aloud: “I’m doing my best. I may be tied, but I am enough.”
Why: It rewires the brain, from self-criticism to self-kindness. You’ll feel it.

2. “Helicopter Mom, But Grab the Rope” Letter

How: Write a short note from your future self (mid‑50s, calmer) to today’s you. Offer encouragement. Acknowledge the symptoms and remind: “I’ve got you.”
Why: It creates emotional distance from guilt, gently reminding you that you’re more than your symptoms.

3. Pocket “You’re Allowed” Cards

How: Write little cards—“You’re allowed to rest,” “You’re allowed to ask for help,” “You’re allowed to be imperfect.” Slip them into your pocket, stick them to the fridge.
Why: These tiny affirmations interrupt the guilt loop—and come just when you need them.

You Are Enough—Especially Now

Mom guilt isn’t forever. It’s a shift. And perimenopause is an invitation to transform—not collapse. If every day feels like a balancing act, remember that lifting your own heart matters as much as lifting theirs.

You’re not failing. You’re evolving.

Menopause at Work: Why Inclusion Isn’t Just a Perk—It’s Medicine for Burnout

Sarah Goody on August 5, 2025

Let’s get something straight: what you’re feeling at work during menopause—fatigue, brain fog, irritability, anxiety, maybe even feeling invisible—isn’t just you. It’s the climate you’re trying to function in. And now we have the research to back that up.

A dissertation by Janie D. Stuart out of Seattle Pacific University just confirmed what so many women have been whispering about in the hallway (or crying about in their cars). The menopause transition is hard enough without a workplace that expects you to show up like a robot—bulletproof, emotionless, and glued to your chair.

The study, titled “A Change in Climate: Inclusion and Menopause Experience at Work,” gives us hard data on what so many of us have experienced in our bodies: inclusion can literally reduce your desire to quit when you’re deep in the fog of perimenopause or menopause.

What Happens When Hormones Clash With the Modern Workplace

Here’s the setup: More than 2 million women in the U.S. enter menopause each year, and symptoms can stretch on for a decade. That’s 10 years of possible sleep loss, mood swings, hot flashes, anxiety, and a shaky sense of self—while still expected to meet deadlines, lead teams, and “lean in.”

This study looked at nearly 400 working women navigating perimenopause or menopause. It explored how inclusion—on the team level, the organizational level, and the cultural level—impacts two things:

How committed women feel to their jobs
How likely they are to quit

And the findings were loud and clear.

The Antidote? Inclusion That Sees the Whole Woman

When women feel supported—seen for who they are, and allowed to bring their whole self (symptoms and all) to the workplace—they’re more likely to stay. But not just any kind of support will do. The real magic happens when:

Team inclusion gives you a sense that your voice matters and that you don’t have to mask your experience.
Non-gendered culture steps away from outdated masculine norms like “always push through,” “don’t show weakness,” or “put work first at all costs.”

Women who felt this kind of support were less likely to consider quitting—even when symptoms were severe.

Let that sink in.

We don’t need more resilience workshops or lavender-scented break rooms. We need environments that actually include us, exactly as we are.

Uniqueness Over Uniformity: Why Feeling Like Yourself Matters Most

Here’s one of my favorite takeaways: “Belonging” isn’t enough. Feeling like a cog in the machine—even if you’re technically “included”—doesn’t cut it.

The study found that uniqueness was more powerful than simply fitting in. When women felt like they could express their true selves without judgment, their desire to quit dropped. That’s Optimal Distinctiveness Theory in action—our need to both belong and be celebrated for what makes us different.

It’s not about pretending menopause isn’t happening. It’s about creating space where you don’t have to hide it.

So What Can We Do (Right Now)?

This is where it gets practical. Here’s what I’d recommend—whether you’re navigating this yourself or you’re in a leadership role wanting to do better:

For Women:

Speak up (when you feel safe). You have the right to ask for support—whether that’s a fan on your desk or flex time for a wellness break.
Find your allies. Start or join a menopause support group. Sometimes just being able to say “me too” is half the healing.
Track your symptoms. Get clear on what your body is telling you. Precision medicine starts with self-awareness.

For Workplaces:

Train your leaders. Make “How’s your health—mentally and physically?” a standard check-in.
Shift the culture. Move away from grind culture and masculine defaults. Promote flexibility, not martyrdom.
Create non-stigmatizing policies. Menopause is a health phase, not a liability. Treat it with the same dignity as pregnancy or injury recovery.

Menopause Is Not the End. It’s the Emergence of a New You.

Here’s the truth we don’t say enough: menopause can be a leadership portal. With estrogen and progesterone shifting, many women find they speak up more, tolerate less, and come into fierce clarity about what matters.

If we can support women through the physiological turbulence, what emerges is often a more assertive, self-assured leader—one who’s no longer willing to shrink or apologize.

Let’s make our workplaces fit that woman.

You deserve to feel vibrant, valued, and powerful—at every stage of life. Don’t settle for less.