Like so many women in their 30s or 40s, I was juggling the usual suspects—work deadlines, school pick-ups, aging parents, a marriage that needed attention, a face that needed more concealer. I was exhausted, sure. But weren’t we all?
So when I started forgetting names, snapping at my kids over toothpaste caps, and waking up drenched in sweat at 2 a.m., I chalked it up to being overworked. I told myself to “get it together,” to meditate more, to finally stick to that vitamin regimen I’d been meaning to start since 2020.
I wasn’t prepared for the truth: I wasn’t crazy. I wasn’t lazy. I was hormonal. I was in perimenopause.
The Invisible Shift
Perimenopause doesn’t announce itself like a headline. It whispers.
At first, it was the irregular periods. Then the migraines. Then the dry skin I blamed on dehydration (despite drinking more water than a cactus in July). Soon, my body wasn’t mine anymore.
I couldn’t sleep. My libido vanished like socks in the dryer. I had brain fog that made me question my intelligence, and mood swings that made me question my sanity.
And yet… no one had warned me. Not my OB-GYN. Not the countless parenting blogs. Not even the “wellness” influencers who seemed to cure everything with green juice and manifestation rituals.
I started googling phrases like: “Why do I feel like I’m going crazy before my period?” “Can you get early-onset dementia in your 40s?” “Is this stress or something else?”
Every result felt like a brush-off. Until I stumbled across a word that changed everything.
Discovering the Word “Perimenopause”
Perimenopause.
It sounded medical. Almost distant. But the deeper I dug, the more I realized: it was me.
According to health experts, perimenopause is the transitional period before menopause—when estrogen, progesterone, and other hormones start to fluctuate dramatically, often without warning. It can start as early as your 30s and last up to 10 years.
Suddenly, everything made sense. The rage I felt over dishwasher drama? Hormones. The 3 a.m. heart palpitations? Hormones. The bone-deep fatigue even after 8 hours of sleep? Hormones.
I wasn’t lazy, broken, or spiraling. I was going through a phase of life no one had prepared me for.
The Gaslighting of Women in Perimenopause
The worst part?
When I finally opened up to my doctor, she smiled politely and told me I was “just stressed.” No tests. No discussions about hormones. Just vague encouragement to eat better and take time for myself.
And it’s not just me. Studies show that perimenopause is wildly underdiagnosed, and women often feel dismissed or misdiagnosed with depression or anxiety rather than hormonal changes.¹
We’re told to tough it out, to suck it up, to “be strong.”
But strength doesn’t mean silence. Strength means speaking up—even when the system isn’t listening.
The Day I Started Tracking My Symptoms
Out of desperation (and stubbornness), I began tracking my symptoms—on paper, at first.
I logged my cycle, moods, energy levels, and sleep. And suddenly, a pattern emerged. My rage? Peaked on Day 21. My insomnia? Showed up mid-luteal phase. My energy crashes? Always around ovulation.
It was like watching a storm form on a map—and finally understanding the forecast.
I created a printable log. I color-coded my moods. And with each page, I reclaimed a little power.
What I Wish I’d Known Sooner
If I could whisper into the ear of my 35-year-old self, here’s what I’d say:
It’s not all in your head. That brain fog, irritability, low motivation? That’s hormonal fluctuation, not personal failure.
You deserve real support. Don’t let anyone—doctor, partner, boss—brush off your symptoms. Advocate fiercely.
Lifestyle changes matter—but so does compassion. Yes, food, sleep, and movement help. But so does being kind to yourself when you mess up.
You’re not the only one. Millions of women are walking this road too—some silently, some screaming into pillows. You are not alone.
Perimenopause is not the beginning of the end. It’s the end of pretending.
It’s the moment you stop making yourself small. It’s when you finally listen to your body instead of shaming it. It’s when you realize your value doesn’t fade with youth—it deepens.
Yes, your hormones are shifting. But so is your strength.
From Chaos to Clarity
If you’ve been feeling off—like you’re too emotional, too tired, too “not yourself”—you’re not crazy. You’re changing. And that change deserves attention, not dismissal.
Start with a single step. Start with awareness. Start with tracking.
Download the Complimentary Copy of the Perimenopause Tracker
Perimenopause Tracker
Monitor Symptoms: Track physical and emotional changes daily.
Identify Patterns: Discover triggers and patterns in your symptoms.
Improve Communication: Share accurate details with your healthcare provider.
Take Control: Empower yourself with insights to make informed decisions about your health.
