What Perimenopause Taught Me About Gratitude and the Body I Thought Betrayed Me

It started in the dressing room of a department store. Under the buzz of fluorescent lights, I stood half-dressed in front of a mirror, staring at a body I didn’t quite recognize. The jeans I grabbed in my usual size wouldn’t button. My arms felt softer. My waist — was it even still there?

That’s when the spiral began. The quiet panic. The mental checklist: Is it my diet? My exercise? Am I just… letting myself go?

But then — somewhere between “Should I try keto again?” and “Maybe it’s my thyroid?” — another thought slipped in: What if this isn’t something to fix? What if it’s something to understand?

That moment — awkward, vulnerable, deeply human — was the beginning of a shift. The beginning of listening. The beginning of gratitude.

If you’re in perimenopause, you probably know this feeling: of things changing without your permission. Your body feels unfamiliar. Your moods are intense. And somewhere, a little voice whispers, What is happening to me?

Let’s talk about that. Let’s name what’s going on — biologically and emotionally. Let’s explore what it means to thank a body in transition. Not for how it looks, but for everything it’s still doing.

And let’s build a toolkit — of stories, science, and small rituals — to help you feel less like you’re disappearing and more like you’re arriving.

This isn’t a pep talk. It’s a reclamation.

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What Is Perimenopause, Really?

If menopause is the full stop, perimenopause is the ellipsis… It’s the 2 to 10-year hormonal rollercoaster leading up to the end of menstruation. But that definition barely scratches the surface.

Perimenopause is the hormonal Wild West. Estrogen, progesterone, and even testosterone swing up and down like toddlers on a sugar rush. Some days you feel 25 again. Other days you wonder if you’re developing early-onset dementia (you’re not — but more on brain fog later).

What can show up:

• Irregular periods (shorter, longer, heavier, lighter — sometimes all in one month)
• Sleep disturbances
• Mood swings and anxiety
• Weight gain, especially around the belly
• Brain fog and memory blips
• Dry skin, dry eyes, dry… everything
• Lower libido or changes in sexual response

And just to make things interesting, no two women experience it the same way. Some breeze through. Others feel like they’re unraveling.

So if you’ve been thinking, Something’s wrong with me, let me gently interrupt that thought: No, something’s shifting in you. And it’s okay.

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The Body Rewrites Itself — And That’s Not a Flaw

Let’s break a myth: the changes in your body are not failures. They are biological adaptations. Your body isn’t breaking down — it’s recalibrating.

Here’s what the science tells us:

• Fat mass increases, particularly around the midsection, not just because of calories or aging, but due to declining estrogen.
• Lean muscle mass decreases, which affects metabolism, strength, and even balance.
• Sleep quality declines, partly due to hormonal shifts, partly due to stress and lifestyle.

According to the Study of Women’s Health Across the Nation (SWAN), many of these changes begin 1–2 years before your final menstrual period. And they continue for a few years after.

So what does that mean?

It means that the belly you suddenly have isn’t laziness — it’s physiology. It means the extra effort it takes to build muscle or remember where you put your keys isn’t personal failure — it’s your body learning a new language.

And here’s the wild, revolutionary idea: we can learn to thank our bodies for this.

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Gratitude Isn’t Just Woo — It’s Science

We throw the word “gratitude” around a lot, especially in wellness spaces. But here’s what real research says:

Practicing gratitude can:

• Lower cortisol (your stress hormone)
• Improve sleep
• Strengthen immune function
• Reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression

One study even found that people who kept a daily gratitude journal slept better and felt more optimistic — not just emotionally, but physically. Their bodies responded.

And in perimenopause, when your body often feels like an unpredictable roommate, gratitude is a way to rebuild trust. To say: “Hey, I see you. I appreciate what you’re trying to do, even if I don’t always understand it.”

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Reframing the Symptoms

Let’s take a few of the most common perimenopause symptoms and reframe them through the lens of body appreciation:

1. Hot Flashes

Reframe: Your hypothalamus (the part of your brain that regulates temperature) is recalibrating. Your body is trying to keep you safe. It’s not malfunctioning — it’s adapting.

Try this: The next time you feel the heat rising, instead of panicking or hiding, pause and say, “This is my body adjusting to a new rhythm. Thank you for working so hard.”

2. Brain Fog

Reframe: Estrogen affects memory and cognition. When it fluctuates, so does your clarity. It’s not permanent, and it’s not a sign of cognitive decline.

Try this: Keep a notebook or app for reminders. Give yourself grace. Thank your brain for everything it’s holding — and maybe let go of a few things.

3. Weight Gain

Reframe: Muscle loss and hormonal changes affect how your body stores fat. Your metabolism is adapting, not quitting.

Try this: Focus on strength and nourishment. What fuels you? What movement feels joyful? Thank your body for still carrying you through the day.

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Real Women, Real Wins

Sarah, 47, started lifting weights after her doctor told her she was losing muscle. “At first it was depressing — I felt weak. But now I can deadlift more than I could at 30. I have visible biceps! And I sleep better.”

Lena, 44, began tracking her cycle and mood fluctuations. “I used to think I was just moody. Now I see the patterns. I know when I need extra rest or more protein. That awareness changed everything.”

Tammy, 51, started a nightly gratitude ritual. “I write down three things my body did well that day — even if it’s just ‘digested lunch’ or ‘walked to the store.’ It’s helped me fall in love with my body again.”

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A Body Appreciation Toolkit

If you want to start feeling more connected to — and grateful for — your body during perimenopause, here’s how to begin:

1. Gratitude Journal Prompts

Use these in the morning or evening:

• What did my body do for me today?
• What sensation or symptom taught me something?
• How did I feel strong, nourished, or at peace?

2. Mirror Talk

Stand in front of a mirror once a week. Look at your body and say one kind thing. Even if it feels awkward. Especially if it feels awkward.

Example: “I see you changing. I’m still here. We’re doing this together.”

3. Movement with Meaning

Move your body in a way that feels good — not punishing. Dance in your kitchen. Stretch while watching Netflix. Lift heavy things because it makes you feel like a warrior.

Movement is a love letter to your future self.

4. Celebrate Small Wins

Did you sleep 6 hours instead of 5? Eat a vegetable? Say no to something draining? That counts. Write it down. Share it with a friend. Cheer for yourself.

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The Gratitude Challenge: 7 Days to Reconnecting with Your Body

For the next week, try this:

Day 1: Write one sentence thanking your body for getting you through the day.
Day 2: Notice one thing your body is asking for (rest, water, movement) and give it.
Day 3: Compliment your reflection out loud.
Day 4: Do a joyful movement (even for 5 minutes).
Day 5: Thank a symptom. Yes, really.
Day 6: Share a win with a friend.
Day 7: Write a letter to your body. Read it out loud.

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Final Thoughts

Perimenopause isn’t a punishment. It’s a passage. And like all great journeys, it asks something of us. It asks us to listen. To slow down. To let go of who we were and make space for who we’re becoming.

Gratitude isn’t denial. It’s defiance. It’s saying: I refuse to hate this body just because it’s changing.

So tonight, before bed, put down your phone. Take a breath. Place your hand over your heart or your belly or anywhere that feels tender. And say:

“Thank you, body. I’m still learning. But I’m listening.”

Because you — and your changing, beautiful, brilliant body — are worthy of love.

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